" Who you really are, the you that is happy, joyous and free has been asleep, and dreaming dreams of fear, lack and not-enough-ness. But you are enough. You are already perfect, so you don't need to change yourself. Your dreams of the you you'd like to be - you are already that person. Wake up to the reality of who you are. Focus on that you, and know that is your true nature.Love yourself"
This is exactly where I am right now. I have finally awaken to what I really am - or want to be - to what I want to do, to what I like, to whom I like...
What happened, you must be wondering...
It all started with my presence as a facilitator at InterCulturalPreparationSeminar, a conference held by AIESEC for people who are preparing to go on eXchange, the Global Internships Program that we provide.
What did this mean? It meant that I had to prepare in the beginning for about 10 sessions to deliver, on culture, cultural shock, gaoal setting, conflict solving, motivational stuff, get to know each other, team building... And I found out how much I like doing this, since I had all the sessions already pictured in my head, with the final outcome and the process as well.
The next step was meeting the conference manager, Urs, our national VicePresident on OutGoingExchange and receiving feedback on the sessions. It was surprising to see that my work was really appreciated and that I managed to design my sessions in a way that really made people feel "at home". Acutally, the whole conference was based on working in so called "home groups", groups of 15 people, which, by the hekp of the facilitator, shared experience, thoughts, feelings, thus gaining a very consistent and complex learning, being only guided to the final outcome by the facilitator.
Then came the virtual get to know of the whole team of facilitators. It was a very big team (18 members at first), with diverse backgrounds, ages (21 to 30 something :D ), but all having the same core interest: training/facilitating. At first I was a bit afraid/frustrated/nervous about the fact that all the facilitators had a lot more exprience than me, but then I finally came to sense and realized that this is an immense opportunity rather than a threat in any way. So I had as an objective to act like a sponge among the other facis and take from them as much as I can.
Then the final pre-meeting came... Where we all physically met. I realized from the first 5 minutes that I had no reasons to be nervous or anything like this, because, despite their ages or backrounds they were all...AIESECers, at their roots... So we connected at a snap.
The chair of the conference was also an amazing person, which managed to keep the delegates motivated, energetic and also entertained... (To think that she would trip on stage! :) )
Then, after a night of intense working, redesigning the sessions according to constant feedback from the facis, conference manager, and chair, and flipchart designing, a lot of coffee and very high hopes... the great day was there! The arrival of the delegates!
I remember the moment when they entered the plenary... It was like playing the opening act of a play... Here they were... The planning is over... The names in the Excel sheets, the "delegate profiles", the "assessments", were turning into actual faces...where you could read excitement, arrogance ("What the fuck are they doing there? - AIESEC roll calls - sorry Vlad, DANCES), shyness, high hopes, boredom... They were all there... Waiting for us to perform... The curtain was up, smile on the face, session outlines in the head, high hopes in the pockets, flipcharts in the backstage... Everything was prepared... time for us to perform and feel good :)
I will talk about the sessions in another post... But I learned everyday a lot... I became more adaptable, more proffessional, more open, more prepared, more energetic, more punctual, more... German :)) Urs really succeeded in making us keep the time, be short and concise, perform at our highest rate...
It's over... I have the sugarcubes on my bed, and the faci stories with pictures which I "stole" from the location... The "Gossip Papornita"... And music on the background... Little miracles, all of you, facis, Urs, Ale, my homegroup people, and all the delegates... You were my little wonders, that made me realize that I have a wonderful life, that I am taking the right steps, no matter the compromises, that I know where I'm heading, that I love myself.
I've never felt more enthusiastic, energetic, and ready to embarck on any crazy opportunity that is given to me. I have a lot of plans for my Erasmus semester, for this holiday, for next month, for tommorrow, and at the same time, I am more open than never to do crazy, unexpected things.
I talk more to people, I smile more, I explore the city, I go out a lot, I take pictures, listen to the music I like, eat sweets even if I'm not allowed, making great plans... Food for soul, that's all I'm looking for these days.
I'm looking for that person/situation who will burst my bubble to see if I'm really changed or it's just a "honeymoon effect"...
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